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Posted By: John Bono
Posted On: Tuesday January 21, 2020 at 10:33 AM
 
Message:
These were too cute not to pass on . . .

KIDS IN CHURCH

3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,

Harold is His name. Amen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make

me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good

time like I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.

They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked

if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,

stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the

neighbor's wife."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason

sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His

father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the

boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up

in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the

Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would

repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided

to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated

each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into

temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our

trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our

baskets."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were

on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to

be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because

people are sleeping."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were

sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out

loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not

supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to

stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the

church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5

and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get

the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a

moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,

'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin

turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be

Jesus!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children when the

four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led

him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died

and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a

moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she

turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you

like to say the blessing? "I wouldn't know what to say," the

girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife

answered. The daughter bowed her head and said,

"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was

Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's

name was?" A little boy said, "Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The boy said, "Well, you know they are always talking

about Verge n' Mary.


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Message thread:

These were too cute not to pass on . . . by John Bono #46375
Ha! Every one is golden! (EOM) by John Kuvakas #46375.1ModeratorZone Diplomat
Hahaha...very good! (EOM) by Jack Dodds #46375.2
Thank you, John, these are great! (EOM) by Terry Daly #46375.3
++++++Every Single One of These ++++++ :)) (EOM) by John Barry #46375.4
Those are perfect for my Tuesday coffee meeting of the guys by John Munro #46375.5
LOL ! Very good, thanks. (EOM) by Dick Johnson #46375.6
LOL ! (EOM) by Mike DeTorrice #46375.7




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